I may want to become an audiobook actor.

In these days of “what have I done with my life”, my newest ambition (not entirely fleshed out) is to become an audiobook narrator.  Let me preface with why I feel I am qualified to voice act books to the general public and not only my captive audiences.

I have read the first six Harry Potter books out loud to my son in the past two years.  From first foot in Hogwarts to Dumbldore’s death, voiced through colds and weariness. I had to stop at six because life in Harry’s magic world was becoming too gruesome for my little guy.  Seven awaits on the shelf.  I have read many books to my middle schoolers over the last eight years.  Honestly, I have read The Alchemist out loud so many times the pages are separating from the binding.  Granted some books were repeats,  but still aloud to the most disconcerting bunch of humans, the incredulous middle schooler.  I have to mention that reading aloud one day to my favorite eight grade class, I was told I have great knees.  An interruption of the finest caliber and truth ;).  I also read the weekly Rob Brenzy horoscopes to my coworkers and my lovely assistant/counselor/confidant.

For the back story, my personal bibliophile tendencies were  aptly honed early due to my singular childhood existence.  Reading was a hobby and friend and to this day holds untold fortunes  of knowledge that I continue to appreciate and hunt.  I think armed with my love of reading I could make it in the reading-out-loud actor guild.  And maybe not as my primary career.  I am thinking a back up for my fledgling real estate entrepreneurship.

In full disclosure, I do look for alternate routes often.  Probably because I am a variety seeker.  Or I have a short attention span, or life is too short not to daydream about all the fun things I could do.  So, my next viable step is to google this newfound potential passion.

Holy bazooks!  This is not an easy type of gig.  I cannot just plop down on the couch and record my eloquent verbiage.  It’s hardcore.  There are many websites explaining the fierce competition and hours of read-acting classes.  My little nugget of hope is promptly dashed to a fleck of hope.  I hold in my back pocket the desire to read obscure literature.  Maybe things that people won’t admit they want read to them.  Like instruction manuals, IKEA directions, computer tech help.  But my further research accords a view into a cut throat realm of reading that I am not entirely sure I am up to.  Maybe, just maybe, I should concentrate on real estate.  And just as I am floating in my read acting bubble, I get business!

I have actually written and submitted TWO different offers on behalf of buyers.  I know!  Making my way.  Learning the ropes.  The first offer scared me so much, I had to pull out all my notes, light candles and have a glass of water at the ready for my nervous dry throat.  It went okay.  I made a couple of errors.  One buyer backed out, after proclaiming it was “killing” her to let it go.  Which brings up a funny thing, people and their words do not necessarily match their actions.  Common problem I have experienced.  It makes my internal creed of doing what I say I am going to do solidify each time I see and experience a fellow human do the opposite of their words.  The other buyer is still waiting to hear back from the listing agent.  Fingers crossed.

As a reflective human, I often wonder “what have I done with my life”.  And I don’t think that questioning myself is entirely pointless.  Some dense self-doubt and guilt has come of it as well as some clarity and calibration of my intentions.  This new adventure of real estate has my committed energy and my scheming back-up plans may remain daydreams for the time being.

For the record, I have been reading a lot lately.  It’s all the time I have not grading papers.  My recent reads from last month, #Girlboss by Sophia Amoruso and The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood, both gratifying reads in their own way.

 

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